Stream of Consciousness (poezii de Alexandro Botelho)

foto credit Diana Mihail

foto credit Diana Mihail

Stream of Consciousness

I can’t take on the stream

when the stream is all around me.

It flows between my fingers and my toes

and it swirls around my body, pushing it.

A gentle nudge at times,

and a tumultuous wallop at others.

Even my cells betray me,

fighting this will to wade against the stream.

My step falters and I slip,

spinning around to face the other direction.

The stream lifts me off my feet,

carrying me and moving me as it likes.

Easily, slow, and fast,

and all in the same breath.

A constant exhalation.

A constant expression of life.

Formless, without want or need.

A conscious movement carrying me.

Not carrying.

Not caring.

And only caring.

Caring as Self.

Caring as one and the same

I forgot what I was saying

Something about a man and a stream.

What is a stream.

What is a man.

They seem the same to me.

——————————————-

A Matter of Time

The tide is gathering at the edges

grains of sand slowly pushed together

A wall steadily building

casting long shadows

on all the sand castles.

A lifetime spent gathering

billions of grains of sand together

carefully maneuvering

and locking them into place.

All the while the ocean building

Roaring and crashing just nearby.

As the sun moves behind clouds

that now darken the sky.

The wind quickens its pace

loosening grains of sand

from castle walls.

Castle kings don’t seem to notice at all.

They look to the ocean wall

and think it their own.

They feel safe and secure

on their sandy throne.

They thought they knew

of each grain of sand

as they had collected more

than any other in the land.

All the while the ocean

with a cooling touch

and unseen hand,

brings all together.

Wrong beliefs always set right

by time all coming to light

A smooth movement surrounding

the tumbling grains of sand

Come together from distant lands.

The storm is gathering

and the wall is mounting.

The ocean heaves and the winds roar

And all the grains of sand

come knocking at the castle doors.

———————————————–

Evergreen

Time shapes all things

and time is you and I

and all together living

It is just a perspective

I have come to find

A belief that things are changing

when they always stay the same.

A leaf, a seed, a tree.

Their difference only in name

A name unspoken

the change unseen.

Life forever blooming

evergreen.

———————————————

Molecule Man

I am the molecule man

connected to the atoms

and spread out in space

Nothing to be found

no face.

I am the molecule man

a small part of the whole

a full life gone in a blip.

No greater or lesser

than the universe where I reside.

I am the molecule man

I move around unseen

no wake in my step

But I am here.

I buzz with joy

and float in peace.

I am the Molecule Man.

——————————————

The Freedom to Lose it All

Back to normal

I just want to go back to normal

Where I could lie to myself and believe it

Where I could look at the world and ignore it

To not see the pain and the suffering

and my own part in it.

Playing make believe with others like me.

And now that reality has come to bare

fruits of my labor that were always there

I can’t stand to face the pain I have caused.

I turn away back to a memory

of a normal that never was.

Afraid to lose it all

so I’ll chase after the past

that slippery slide of false facts.

Corrupted memories and a slight of hand

is the medicine that I demand.

To cure this reality that plagues me

stripping me bare and hangs me

Dangling in the wind

as I’m put out to dry.

I can’t stand to lose it all.

Even as its inevitability presses upon me.

Each false hope stripped apart

and then obliterated

The truth ravaging any hope unabated.

My hands now claws grasp at air

as my past is steadily pulled away.

Death standing near

whispering in loud booms heard across the earth.

Better pay attention to the future that is here.

Is my life worth a memory and a lie?

Maybe it’s time to put aside things proven untrue

and live my life anew.

I will let go these delusions

and disavow myself of any hope.

My loss apparent why wait?

Why sit and deliberate?

It is time to lose it all.

To lose the lies and false beliefs

To lose the false sense of security.

To lose my arrogance and sense of being special.

To lose the fear of death

as it is everywhere.

Death of the false in every moment

To lose it all and be free to live.

Thank you for killing me

Thank you for your unrelenting truth

Thank you for your merciless destruction

Of every misdeed and wrong belief

The smallest illusion not left to take root

I am rootless

Left to find new roots

The true roots of being.

Timeless, the root of all roots.

It’s a root tootin good time!

Splendid and divine.

I am so grateful to have lost it all!

Beautiful!